After having two boys in fourteen month's time, I was thrilled to learn I would be having a little girl whose pink dresses would be a sweet contrast to her brothers' blue jeans. For the years during which her attire was my doing, I did dress her in girl-like outfits ... though her wispy blond hair had many calling her a boy anyway. No worries. Two year old girls often look like two year old boys. Fast forward eight years. My daughter has blossomed into a sports-loving, sweatpants-wearing young lady -- whom most people STILL think is a boy. Especially since she adamently requested a pixie hair cut.
Do I care? Most of the time, no. But sometimes yes ... BUT I am hyper aware of embracing and supporting the person she is meant to be! And I don't want her telling her therapist some day, "my mom never let me be who I wanted to be." I mean, c'mon -- don't we all dislike when someone tries to sell us on an outfit or haircut or activity that is simply "not us"?
Through the years, I have painted over the daisies in her bedroom with bright blue and green paint. I have put up the Nerf hoop where the antique hooks used to be. I have given the cute striped tights and cherry blossom dresses to my co-worker ... while making room for Julia's new Vikings jersey and sweatshirts. We didn't sign up for dance again ... she chose karate instead.
Over the past year, I have told countless people, "no, that's my daughter," after they commented on my son, little guy or handsome young man. They feel all embarrassed but I tell them, "really - it's ok." She's confident and silly and creative and strong and funny. Isn't that what we wish for our children? She's not one bit bothered that she's not included in the girl's group at recess. You can usually find her playing football or tag with the boys.
She had her bowling birthday party yesterday. Her invite list? All boys. We had to say no when she wanted them all to sleep over. Watching her play with her friends, she is one of them. They embrace her not as a boy or girl ... but as one of their best playmates!
Hard to say who she will grow up to be. Will she reach puberty and decide she wants to be "all girl"? With three brothers, I'm truly not surprised she's most comfortable in the rough and tumble world of boys. And, oh, what lessons this spirited young soul has given me in letting go of expectations, embracing the child with whom I've been blessed and loving the adventure of her. Happy Birthday Sweetie.
You are such a fabulous mom!!! Your story really hits home with me and my daughter. She is still quite a princess, but has also traded her dancing shoes in for a new basketball + a bat, ball and glove. She is also asked to take karate lessons. It is so wonderful seeing them develop through the years. Thanks so much for sharing and I am so glad I found your jewelry and artwork, it introduced me to all your fabulous work! You are so tallented!
HUGS!
Jan Marie Locket
Posted by: Jan Marie Locket | January 29, 2011 at 11:53 PM
That's so sweet! You're a good mom!
Posted by: christy | February 08, 2010 at 02:04 PM